Top 10 EDM Songs Released This Month (May 2014)

Do you like music? Nice, so do I.

That’s why instead of hitting up happy hour for some dirty flirtinis, I spent my entire Friday afternoon ferociously debating which new EDM tracks are the most trill. And by ‘most trill’, I mean the 10 songs released this month that simply cannot be denied – for any reason, other than if you peed your pants.

Then again, peeing your pants is cool.

So uhh…yah. You should listen to all of these songs.

10. Wielding their street sweeping beat, SNAILS is shooting “SLUGZ.”

9. Kill The Zo, ’nuff said.

8. Once you go Thomas Jack, you never go back.

7. There’s Goldfish, there’s Koi, and then there’s this song.

6. It’s an Audien “Revolution.” We’re just living in it.

5. No, no “Ice Cream Sound.” Not until you eat your vegetables.

4. Remaining static will be a problem for die-hard fans of The Knocks. We present, “Move Me.”

3. Porter Robinson unveils another revolutionary chapter in his pièce de résistance, the “Sad Machine.”

2. Complete satiation thanks to the trio that is Nero.

1. Welcome insomnia. You won’t stop listening to this…not even for sleep.

Who The Hell Is JVMES? [Artist Spotlight]

Music has a funny way of growing on you; It’s an unspoken and innate process defining the thin line between what sounds good and what doesn’t.

Over the past eighteen days, this next release by JVMES or James or JAMESSSSS (I have no idea, the dude spells it differently EVERYWHERE) has been slowly creeping up on me. Unfortunately for this brand new, LA-based producer, his meager following of only three-hundred and eighty-nine SoundCloud followers simply does not carry the proper weight needed to stir the proverbial pot, in hopes of creating waves in the Electronic Dance Music scene.

Furthermore, 389? Are you f*@#ing kidding me??? This dude has got way too much talent for that.

Let’s help a brotha out.

https://soundcloud.com/jvmesmusic

However, this is where we are supposed to come in. 

“Koi Pond” by JVMES is a work of art. Anytime the song falls upon fresh ears (my friends), they enthusiastically inquire as to who the track was by and where they could find it on SC. I assume they are interested in listening to it again. Or probably so they can introduce it to others and claim that they “discovered” the artist themselves.

Posers.

I digress.

Anywho, with no real information on any of his various social media accounts beside two hilariously vague quotes, I don’t really have a lot to go on here. Well, besides the fact that “Koi Pond” sounds the way an orgasm feels.

Yeah, it’s that good.

As for genre, I don’t know…how does “Downtempo Existential Future Ratchet Melodic Bass Chillout” sound?

Good. Who even cares anymore?

10 Tracks Your Mom Can Get Down To On Mother’s Day [In No Particular Order]

Ok, now stop.

Before you click “Pay and Proceed” on that Edible Arrangements bouquet you were just about to purchase, why not reconsider?

What would you say if I told you that you could give your mom something totally wicked this mothers day? Not only would this gift be over-the-top incredible and possibly the most notable gift anyone has bestowed upon the person who squeezed the gifter in question out of her vagina, but, it would also be free of charge.

I know what your thinking…

And yes. I’d love it if you’d hook me up with your mothers.

And yes. Below I have provided the gift in which I was discussing above.

You can thank me later.

10. John Denver – Take Me Home, Country Roads (Pretty Lights Remix)

Take me home, John Denver. And you too, Pretty Lights.

 

9. Kill Paris feat. Marty Rod & Alma – Falling In Love Again (Kill Paris & Bee’s Knees Keytar Mix)

The love machine known as Kill Paris fits any Mother’s Day celebration. Just make sure it’s the right kind of love.

 

8. Soulero – Burning Down (Nymus Remix)

Picturesque. Play this one while strolling through the park with mother on your daily walk.

 

7. Coyote Kisses – This Is How You Know

A delicate hymn proper for that car ride over to church. Thanks Coyote Kisses.

 

6. Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On (Big Sandz Remix)

Marvin Gaye + Big Sandz = A Kiss From Your Mother

 

5. The M Machine – Tiny Anthem (Shinichi Osawa Remix)

A tiny anthem your mom can sing you to sleep. The perfect lullaby.

 

4. Skrux and Felxprod feat. Complexion – Find You (Skrux VIP)

Who said maternal figures can’t like dub?

 

3. Ellie Goulding – Hanging On (I SEE MONSTAS Remix)

Ellie Goulding has the heart of an angel. Like your mom. HA.

 

2. Grizmatik – Digital Liberation Is Mad Freedom

Tell mom to save this track for behind closed doors. Nobody wants to see that.

 

1. Sigma – Nobody To Love

Got nobody to love on Mother’s Day? Sigma’s got you covered.

The Top 5 EPs of This (1/3) Year

These are never easy. Besides dealing with the inevitable bickering that occurs between the FTWubz crew members, I get a lot of shit from my sixty year old mother actually. She likes that super grimy shit, you know? The kind of music you get down and ultra dirty to. She’s really into free love these days. Look her up.

However, I’m probably going to get a frying pan upside the head for this next list…maybe the LAXX will save me.

5. LAXX – Step One [Never Say Die]

Going hard in the paint, err…I mean studio.

4. Various Artists – Prophication Remix EP [Mau5trap]

Giant remixes to an even bigger EP from last year.

3. Kill Paris – Foreplay EP [OWSLA]

Thank you for another awkward music boner KP.

2. Seven Lions – Worlds Apart [Casablanca Records]

You kidding me, Seven Lions? You’re not of this Earth.

1. Galantis – Galantis EP [Big Beat Records]

Christian Karlsson of Miike Snow and Linus Eklow aka Style Of Eye = Galantis

Honorable Mention: Barely Alive – Lost In The Internet EP [Disciple]

Just about every producer and their mother have attempted to remix a piece of Barely Alive’s latest masterpiece.